Stop Seeking Validation…
When we rely on external validation to feel good, we’re giving others the power to control us.
The only power we can give to any situation or any individual is our attention.
We have a tendency to seek approval whenever we can.
Many of us, especially youngsters, tend to compromise our values in order to feel accepted and valued, even when that validation comes from complete strangers, due to the constant pressure of social media to filter and fit.
Why would you seek attention and approval from someone who has known you for a while as opposed to your own lifetime knowledge?
People aren’t meant to stay, no matter how much you want them.
We need to believe that time can be a healer and that sooner or later, everything passes.
You keep putting light in everyone’s heart. But who’s there with you when you get stuck in the dark?
Allow yourself:
To let go of your expectations,
To say goodbye to the things you used to love once the most,
To overcome the fear of being abandoned by people you love,
To hold yourself accountable when you make a mistake.
How to live on your own terms:
1. Know what you don’t need.
I wish someone would have sat me down and told me this 5 years ago: You don’t need anyone to validate what you already know.
If you know that what someone did was hurtful, wrong, disrespectful, and unkind, why do you need the other person to validate your judgment? You know, and that’s enough.
2. Don’t expect to be healed.
Save yourself the emotional currency and understand that if someone had the capacity to disregard you, hurt you, and lie to you… They will never have the magic potion to heal the wounds that they have inflicted.
“You can’t expect the same person that wounded you to heal you.”
No one will heal you more or better than you can heal yourself, right now.
3. Know what it really means.
It will get better, and you are already getting stronger with every step. You are so much more than the pain of your childhood, the pain of your past, and the triggers that have you convinced, you need to be “good enough,” for the invalidator to somehow validate you.
You’ll see the other person for who they are, and you’ll start to see yourself for who you truly are:
“Someone who can get back up in spite of being knocked to the ground.”
